Without Direction

There exists a phenomenon that many are unaware of. Those who do experience it  would tell you how frustrating it can be for them. This issue can be short lived or it may continue for a moderate period of time. In fact, there can even be a few who seemingly struggle with it for a great deal of time. I have someone I talk to regularly that is currently in the grips of this problem. I will do my best to describe what he is experiencing so that those of you who feel a similarity within your experience might find a connection that causes an idea of possible remedy.

I wish to be very clear with my description of this type of issue so it is not confused with a much more common occurrence. In these circumstances there are no problems with laziness or motivation to engage the work place. This issue is a question of direction and definitely not willingness.

His personal status is currently single with a 6 year old daughter who lives with his ex-wife. He had a relatively good and stable childhood and has no issues with any substance abuse. In fact, he is actually quite the health enthusiast who spends an hour or two, 6 days / week in a gym and who monitors what he eats very strictly. He has no physical limitations or handicaps and a very pleasant personality. The past 8+ years since graduating high school have been a series of very diversified job locations that took him to a few different parts of the world. Until a year ago he had remained in the same industry since he was 18 years old but would periodically transfer locations and positions as a means to promote. Then about a year ago he was faced with a transfer that was given to him without much choice attached to it. He was skeptical to go due to its location and moderately reduced pay for the same position he had held for the previous year. The reason for this transfer and reduction in pay was due to a significant industry wide slow down that had many receiving transfers or even complete layoffs. This industry is still quite stagnant and the potentials to return to it any time soon are not optimistic.

Since his decision to refuse the transfer and leave this industry, he has had 3 or 4 jobs that were all within his skill set yet none have worked out. There was always an issue that created an undesirable situation which led to him leaving. He has talked to me about this in fairly good detail as they have transpired. Although there have been those occurrences in which the working conditions were not very appealing, I must say that it seemed there were other circumstances in which his assessment appeared exaggerated to me.

         It is always very important to remember that it is not for anyone else to judge another’s decisions of choice. It is only within my perspective that I can express my view.

As he has progressed into his late 20’s, his goals to become self employed have been increasing for some time now. And now, as he is leaving his most recent job attempt, he is focused on this determination with extreme energy. I actually believe he will realize this goal one day (if he allows it). He has all the necessary tools to achieve this status. He is very intelligent, has a priority of integrity and is genuinely concerned about his impact on others. Again, I believe he will make an excellent employer if he allows himself the time to discover his direction.

The risk he is running is one of becoming trapped in a circular motion. His determination to gain control of his life is creating a set of standards that he may not be able to reasonably achieve within the time frame he is interested in………immediately!     It is important to understand that his ability to analyze and make logical determinations is a large part of why he advanced so rapidly within his previous career. But recently however, it appears as though he has not been using this trait to help himself engage a planned direction.

It is as though he predetermines that each job he gets will not compare to his initial career, so he engages them with skepticism. With this type of internal belief, one has failed before they have begun. When we talk about this struggle, he only wishes to focus on the ultimate goal of self employment. I realize he is desperate for personal control. As such, I do my best to help him believe it is a planned and patient approach that will create this status for him with the quickest and best result. It is very fascinating to watch someone with such advanced maturity in their 20’s and who is above average in talent and intelligence lock themselves up into a state of such professional turmoil.

I believe the key to unlock his professional quagmire is found elsewhere. I am also aware of much of his personal struggle recently within the relationship arena.

It is important to realize a few personal changes that have transpired with him during the past 12 – 18 months. As mentioned, he is currently single with a young daughter he sees a day or two each week. Although his time with his daughter is only occasional, their relationship is strong. On the adult front, his relationship status has changed with a similar frequency as his job status. I know of one time when a job change and a relationship’s end did coincide, however this is not the case typically. I must also point out that during the past 18 months of routine change, there was one woman that he was extremely fond of. This particular relationship ceased due to her desire to go live with her mother who was ill and help with her care………(7,000 miles away). This breakup occurred during the same period as did his decision to refuse the transfer in his long term industry.

It appears to me that he feels very little control in his life in general. The loss of the one particular relationship that meant so much to him seemed to set in motion a chain reaction of unsettled decisions. He carries a self degradation aspect of regret for deciding to refuse that transfer that would have kept him in his industry of choice (at least for a while?) I do not believe he has forgiven himself for that choice. As a side note to that decision; during the precise time he was faced with this choice, it appeared his immediate family were all in agreement with his decision to decline. (Maybe he feels he was persuaded and did not make an independent decision?)

His abilities and job skills make him a very marketable employee to many employers who would hire him, yet he does not have any that appeal to him currently.

He won’t allow any to work at the moment due to a paralyzing fear of becoming “normal”.

For more than a year now he has obtained one job after another only to soon find a fault that allows him the escape he searches for to leave. He is extremely motivated to gain self employment status but currently does not have a precise direction identified. Also, his financial situation is becoming very serious due to the lack of sustained income at an established place of employment for any length of time.

His life has experienced significant changes during a short time period (12 – 18 months). These changes feel to him to be beyond his control. He does not wish to engage, due to his fear of potential loss. His focus professionally is strictly on a self employment status even though he currently does not know how to begin this process in a patient manner. His personal relationship status does not seem to allow long term commitments to materialize. Scars to ones heart can cause a real fear of allowing exposure to others.

I believe he is immerged in several fears that are creating the illusion of no options.

He has a real fear of failure with women. This is not the type of fear that comes from the surface elements. He does not have any issues with personality or looks. It seems females are quite attracted to him routinely. Since his deeply felt loss of a very serious relationship was presented to him, he does not trust any relationship to continue without the potential of failure. (By the way, his relationship with his mother appears to be very good). It is my opinion that he has internal trust issues that hinder his confidence of long lasting female companionship in a meaningful manner. His sub-conscious decisions are bringing him women who have personal issues to deal with. One had family 7000 miles away that she felt she should be with. Another was dealing with a long drawn out divorce that was moving very slowly. There was another who was in the military reserves and was eventually sent overseas for 6 months.

I do not believe there are any accidents here.

He is sub-consciously finding women that will have an area of their life present a hurdle in a potential stable relationship. He is essentially creating his own barriers by engaging females who are not ready for a stable and routine commitment…….and it is my opinion this is simply due to him not being ready either. He wants it on the outside, but is not ready on the inside.

He is struggling with searching for control in his professional world therefore he is desperately trying to find control elsewhere.

Within a restricted and intense search for control….. patience can become subordinate.

There is an irony here that cannot be ignored. His advanced intelligence and abilities that generated multiple promotions and brought him significant responsibilities at a young age while in his previous career are now one of his biggest elements of self imposed obstacles. He became accustomed to challenge and advancement. With his time ending in that arena, he has become distraught with the level of routine commonality that he has found in the jobs he has encountered thus far.

He desperately does not want to be as the majority (normal).

So in essence, he has come to a point in which he doesn’t want to move at all. He wants control to return to his life and it is currently his illusion he has none.

The aspect of daily control is achieved through steady and routine attempts that are driven by emotion and engaged with rational logic…….Patience is an ingredient that must be included.

It is precisely when we do not want to engage with life that our engagement becomes so necessary.

Facing our fears is something we all must do. Those who do it best realize the most satisfaction of personal control.

Finally; I’m reminded of something I said often to my kids as they were growing up…….”The right thing and the easy thing are seldom the same thing”.

………..Even the brightest among us will struggle occasionally.

Resolution

There exists a popular trend that has many among us participating. A large percentage of people will make a new years resolution. We’ve all heard of this and most of us have participated in it. 

The attitudinal adjustment with intentions to change something in conjunction with the beginning of a new year has become a standard for many people.

If you notice, the title of this article does not include the ever popular “new years” association with a resolution. Please know, that I think this is indeed a great time to make a decision to change and improve. However, this is definitely not the only time we each should make decisions of personal improvement. There are really two distinct areas of discussion that I would like to focus on within the concept of resolutions. One is the timing aspects of our attempts at change and the other is why most personal new years resolutions do not materialize as intended.

First, I will say that the actual popularity itself of making resolutions at the beginning of a new year has much to do with why many fall short of manifesting.

If we consider the human trait of being a “herd” creature, as I have talked about frequently, we easily realize that when something is popular, it tends to attract an increasing involvement by many who wish to belong (which is pretty much everyone to some degree). With this said however, there are those of us who are actually of a rebel mind set which is why not everyone follows a popular trend. Make no mistake, even those few of us in the rebellious group have an inherent desire to belong and fit in so-to-speak, however, we must draw our own map and not take the popular road. Instead, this small group takes the route of deciding to walk the path less traveled. I believe there is a strong psychological presence with this group in which the concept of personal control is a driving force. It is extremely important that you understand my premise of descriptions.

There is no “right or wrong” way that I am describing here, but as always, there are different ways. Personal priority structures based on our individual model of the world we live in and observe, create our own unique ways of engaging ourselves with trends and popularities.

Understanding your own personal reasons of why you make the choices you do will be one of the best things you could ever achieve.

For many of you, this may be a difficult search. Why?……Fear.

Do you really want to know why you make a lot of your choices? If so, you have two very important stipulations to consider.

First; you must be willing to accept anything that you learn about yourself. You cannot edit what you feel is a personal truth. It is for this very reason that many do not ever come to accept their most inner truths. These people are simply too scared to know. Perhaps an issue that has been buried deep inside may become at risk of exposure. Also, the fear of being different from the illusion of “normal” is a major factor.

Second; you need to allow and not force. “Listening” is not something you do on a schedule. You simply put yourself in an open mindset and keep yourself in a place of openness as much as you can. With time and patience you will find this easier to accomplish. When you learn patience with yourself, your intuition will then be heard. Again; allow do not force.

In the next segment I will use a common new years resolution as an example……….(warning! Some of you might not completely appreciate my directness. Please proceed with caution).

As I write this, only a few days from January 1st., the fitness centers and local gyms are receiving a large influx of new memberships. It is obvious as to why; many people set out to become more fit “next year”. I find this annual trend very interesting to analyze.

There are a few tough questions that come to mind as I contemplate this popular trend. Again I must warn you; some of you might get a little agitated while reading these questions. (Should this be the case with you and you are willing to sincerely ask yourself why you’re bothered, you will have a tremendous opportunity to become much more aware of your psychological self). I truly do not wish to agitate any of you (unless it helps you). So now that you’ve been completely prepared, lets continue.

For those of you involved with the specific trend of joining a gym or something similar due to a new years resolution, I ask……..

1) Were you not desiring good fitness last year? (Ok, so it’s never too late and now you will start).

2) Also, assuming this new decision was likely made several days or even weeks prior to the onset of the new year, I must ask…..why wait? (I know……the holidays meant that dinners and parties… etc.).

3) Most people who join a gym due to a new years resolution will quit within a month or two. Why does this routinely happen? Have you been part of that group? The simple odds suggest that you will be if your motive to join was indeed based on the commonality of such an action at the beginning of a new year. (But this time it’s different right? This time you’re really going to…..).

4) Then I would ask……what happens next year when those holidays show up again? (The common plan?…..you will be in much better shape then so the extra food and drink won’t affect you as much). (And this assumes you are actually even considering as far out as a year from now).

5) Do you truly believe…. you will prevail with your intentions of fitness next year with any real differences when compared to this year?  (So….am I suggesting that you shouldn’t even try?). If this is what you are “hearing” me say, your subconscious purpose is to remove the focus from you and switch it to me, the one asking. Remember, my emphasis is only on…..Do you truly believe in you?     (think about this)

Nearly all of you will have answers to these questions (much like the ones I provided). Likewise, nearly all of the answers will not come from within.

The answers that come to you immediately are typically a reactionary defensive maneuver. You must first remove your automatic display of defensiveness before you will allow your true understandings to reveal themselves. Again, if you really want to get to know you, you must allow it.  

It is precisely those of you who cannot find the answers quickly who have a very good chance of finding your true reasons eventually.

Final thoughts…..

Please allow me to be perfectly clear on the subject of gyms and fitness centers. I am a huge fan of the benefits these facilities offer to those who use them wisely. The purpose of my questions and statements throughout this discussion have been completely centered around why most people do what they do with regards to trends and more specifically, resolutions that follow trends.

I stated very early in this article that ” the actual popularity itself is why many resolutions fall short of manifesting into a personal reality”. It seems obvious to me that the true reason this occurs is found within another question.

Where does your decision of change truly come from?

Although I may be presenting portions of this content in somewhat of an abstract manner, I believe the majority of you will understand my message. You see, writing in abstract form is one of my favorite methods of delivering messages.

I strive for all of you to contemplate and realize your own conclusions. It is not for me to tell you what is right for you. My personal purpose is to provide ingredients that accomplish three things for my readers:

Inspire feeling;     Promote thought;     Encourage responsibility.

………..Now you must take it from here.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Balance

………Continued as part two of a previous article.

In the previous article, we examined some aspects of balance pertaining to a one directional travel. We talked about some of the ways many of us have and do engage an extreme out of balance direction within our careers vs. our leisure time. We portrayed this experience as long lasting and potentially slow to change, as is the case many times. As expressed, I believe this type of circumstance is actually quite common in certain arenas, yet is rarely identified for the true meaning of what is actually taking place. As we left our previous discussion on the subject of balance (or lack there of), we had only revealed an ongoing continuation in one direction of any given pursuit.

In this analysis, I would like to talk about those circumstances in which an extreme direction of focus changes rather abruptly. In many ways this can be very hard to understand initially and also somewhat traumatic to deal with by those who find themselves with a completely new perspective and/or set of circumstances.

As I have revealed on many occasions, any belief and/or action that one engages for a given period of time becomes the “normal” for that individual. Regardless of the type of routine experience engaged, if it becomes established and expected, it then becomes normal. So with this foundational understanding, we can begin to realize the likely emotions that someone may feel should an abrupt change of attitude, direction and circumstance take place.

Throughout our lives most of us will go through periods of moderate attitudinal change. Call it growth or maturing or anything else that seems to fit the specific occasion, in any case if the change is sudden, it can throw ones sense of control in complete disarray. Also, many times we are involved with dramatic changes that come with the participation of others, such as a sudden change in a relationship or an unexpected layoff from a job.

It is vital to the understanding of this concept that we all remember….. what represents “normal” to any one of us has nothing to do with benefit or harm.

“Normal” only refers to an expected and routine occurrence. As upsetting and ironic as it may seem at times, it is the human beings severe quest for control that many times cause people to remain in very damaging situations. An abused woman appears to have no control in her situation from the perspective of the outside world, yet often times she stays.     Why?     Because of the familiarity of the routine. It has become “her normal”.          Although the irony is obvious and the outcome is very bad, never-the-less, it is expected and routine and therefore represents an abstract sense of control within her own illusion. Knowing what to expect is very powerful to the human psyche. Please understand; I used such a severe example as a means to express just how powerful our personally established and anchored versions of “normal” can be.

It is due to this same primary principle that “change” is often resisted initially by many people. “Change”, in it’s early stages, represents a lack of “knowing what to expect”. We have no past direct experience to call on for recognition and comfort via our previous exposure therefore, even when the change shows a very good potential for improvement, it will many times be challenged initially. It is all about the “felt” control.

So now with this established understanding, lets take this concept even further.

Consider this example…..

There are those who have established their personal set of normal circumstances for many years that were primarily driven by an emotional situation that appeared to be long lasting. Due to an area of their life that was difficult to deal with, an extreme out of balance pursuit was established within a career path that conveniently took them away from home for long periods. The type of career engaged was mostly pursued due to the demanding schedule and high potential of recognition for those who excel. Within this endeavor, the participant not only establishes a means to avoid the personal situation of emotional hardship but also finds themselves advancing at the workplace, which  then brings with it praise and support. As this direction of….. avoidance of home and recognition at work continues, their established “normal” becomes increasingly anchored and all-encompassing to this individual.

……….Now we will introduce moderate changes that have a dramatic effect on the attitude and priorities of this person………..

After 7 years of total focus on their career, something happens.         Things change within all aspects of their focus. The home situation that was desperately avoided for all that time has dissolved. Now, this person doesn’t mind going home and even looks forward to it routinely. Also, a much different perspective has materialized through maturity. Starting out as a very young adult with no established responsibilities of large importance yet, then led to a transformation into a much more mature individual. As time passed, their personal perspective was experiencing major changes. Also, as all of this personal change has materialized, industry wide changes in their profession has drastically reduced the available opportunities. Now, with what seems to be a rapid life adjustment on many fronts, a new battle begins. A specific lifestyle and pattern of conduct was established and as such had become an entrenched and powerful “normal”.  Thus, this exterior extreme pursuit has become this persons total identity.

Within only a few months, this individual is not only wanting out of their own “normal”, but in some ways they are also being forced to change. They now feel a sense of lost identity due to all the changes that have come their way. Even though some of these changes represent very positive movements, it is still change and as such an adjustment period is needed. Because the pervious pattern of efforts were engaged with such intensity due to the attempted avoidance of other issues, they did not completely realize what all the actual physical efforts toward that career had really consisted of.

 They were only focusing on the “running from….” aspect of their previous situation and were not completely aware of the tremendous amount of time and commitment that they had invested into that endeavor.

Now they are in a much better place personally and find themselves in a calm and pleasant situation within their home setting. So for the first time in their adult life, they wish to intentionally move toward a completely new pattern and career and thus a new “normal”. There are significant problems associated with this major directional shift however. The biggest hurdle is found within the lack of knowing how to consciously and intentionally start and build a career without a hidden force of motivation to cause them to want to stay at work. Their only adult history thus far has been within the tremendous motivation found while “running from……”. Unfortunately, their previous experience in the creation of a well established career came as a result of not wanting to be anywhere else. Because of this past out of balance situation, a huge amount of time and effort was given to their establishment of a career.

To start over now and actually realize the amount of time investment and effort that was engaged previously, which created the career they once had, seems overwhelming an undesirable. The next hurdle is found within a career choice. Not only are they faced with a lack of patience, they also do not have a specific direction that is currently intriguing them with excitement. Again, we realize the results of only knowing how to build a career within the “running from….” method.

Because of the strength of their past well established and familiar method of moving in one direction with excessive efforts due to the underlying driving force of avoiding something else, they may be at risk of repeating this trend in an opposing direction.

It is possible that they could indeed wish to avoid (run from) the extreme workplace efforts so much, that they now may actually avoid the workplace efforts too much.

Remember, this is the familiar normal pattern for them. The direction of travel while “running from” is not the point. The real point is found within the overall concept of an out of balance path in general.

Engaging oneself with an extreme amount of effort in one direction as a means to avoid the opposing direction is very real and cannot be overlooked.

As always, awareness is the first step toward positive change. The second and very important next step is acceptance. To become aware and then to accept a personal issue as real puts you in a position of ownership. With your acceptance, an acknowledgement of legitimacy is exposed. In essence, when you are aware of the existence of an issue and you accept it as real, it becomes your own to change. You are now in a position to control and eventually change the entire scope of any experience you wish.

I would like to close this very important discussion focusing on “balance” with a few final thoughts. I have devoted so much energy into this subject because it is a reality that has tremendous effects on a very large number of people these days. As with many of the current issues that affect the human condition, I truly believe this is one of the most impacting and misunderstood. It is my knowing that the answers to what hinders the growth of human kinds emotional experiences toward a much more positive reality are not waiting to be discovered in a lab. While technological advancements bring us many good things, they are just that……things. As you know, I am a very big proponent of science in general. Likewise, I also realize that our deepest connections will not ever show up in a test tube. As much as science and our many different definitions of “beyond” seem to conflict, I truly believe they are actually much the same.

The sense of peace and love and freedom and our inherent concern for others that is hardwired into the fabric of every one of us is an intuitional knowing that we bring with us……it is not learned or taught to us, it is just there.

Finally, as a final thought pertaining to our specific example above; I believe that circumstances which bring a major change in ones direction and attitude and priorities have the potential to actually produce a much stronger and better balanced individual. As our example person described above moves through this very large shift, they can come to a place in their future of truly understanding the power and importance of balance.

They will have been on both sides of the equation of an extreme out of balance pursuit and as such have a personal grasp on both experiences. Although I do not suggest that anyone intentionally pursues an extreme endeavor as a means to hide from their fears and/or run from another situation, I do believe that experience is by far the best teacher.

Providing a place of awareness and acceptance is achieved by this person, along with an applied set of patient and planned actions, I expect that the individual described above will one day become a very well balanced example of perseverance and be in a position to help others understand what they may be going through.

After all, there is no greater accomplishment than realizing a personal success while also helping others to improve.

 

 

 

 

 

Balance

“Balance in our lives”. What does this really mean? As always, the perspective of the individual will have a major impact on any personal definition. The most obvious things we typically can and do recognize will be the physical aspects of our travels. The majority of you will first consider the relationship of career vs. leisure time. It is within these two areas that most of the focus has been suggested with regards to obtaining and maintaining a balance in our lives. The reason for the primary focus on these two categories seems quite obvious. In the modern world, most adults in the industrialized arenas of our planet will devote a very large portion of their intentional efforts toward a job or profession. If we use a very simple equation to examine our time allotment and assume a standard scenario of 8 hour increments, we find that nearly half of our awake hours are assigned to our work (at least according to the time card). Beginning with a 24 hour day and allowing 8 hours for sleep, we are left with 16 hours of which we have given half to our job(s).

But now lets really crunch the numbers based on an “attentive devotion” toward a career. The mental and emotional efforts one gives to their career will be directly affected by the type of profession, the individual position and the personal attitude of each participant. For example, it is extremely likely that an entry level ditch digger will devote just the minimum time required to accomplish the specific task at hand. Contrary, a mid level management trainee will very likely spend many more hours within their efforts than the time card actually reveals. Within only these two opposing examples we find a large difference of actual total attentive hours involved in a typical day. In the analysis of “total attentive hours involved”, I am referring to the complete and individually prioritized mental, emotional and physical attention assigned to the professional endeavor.

Based on the wide diversity of personal attempts toward any given job endeavor, it is apparent that our individual attitude is the determining factor toward how much effort one puts into their career. The management trainee may only be “clocking in” for 8 hours but how much extra effort before and after hours are committed to their quest to gain that promotion? It is not uncommon for someone attempting to climb the proverbial ladder to involve nearly all of their awake hours toward their career.

A very common self justification for the extreme time commitment will be the assumed and illusive temporary status of that amount of effort. As many of you know, the “temporary” extra effort that was to last only long enough to gain the advancement actually becomes the new standard more often than not. Many in the work force choose to believe the boss works less time than does the staff. If by definition of “work” we mean, devotion of ones full attention, then a typical person in charge of increased responsibilities will involve much more of their time toward their career. Although the “less work for the boss” scenario may be true for some, it is not the typical outcome and will many times simply be cast based on an old stereotype.

The desired higher pay and benefit received with the average advancement is earned via increased responsibility and/or knowledge. As responsibility and experience increases, the received compensation will follow within legitimate circumstances. In a balanced system of business in which there exists no circumstance of illegitimate promotion, the compensation advancement follows the growth of knowledge, experience, responsibility and most importantly, the attitude of the individual. Although subject to your definition of “success”, this system is successful much of the time (based solely on the direct measurement of increased compensation and/or career status).

These are the visible reasons why many people involve themselves in their work beyond a balanced and reasonable level.         However, it is my firm opinion that these reasons are also many times of an illusive nature. There exists a large number of people who become entrenched in their work for reasons well beyond the external and visible desire of advancement.

The unforeseen aspects of extreme career devotion many times have very little to do with a direct desire to achieve work place advancement. This is the group that is, “running from……..”

To “achieve success” as defined by the standard protocol of current beliefs based on the visible aspects , we stop with the surface values of: title, income and/or power. I suggest that there are significant psychological reasons as to why many of us achieve the noticeable successes listed above and that many times these achievements are a direct result of a much deeper intent. One of the most popular ways to feel relief from an issue that hinders our happiness in general is to create a distraction.  A job can be a tremendous distraction.

I believe many advanced careers are built due to the avoidance of other areas of ones life. In essence, there are a large number of people who realize “exterior success” as a direct result of “interior failure”. (I use the term “interior failure” as a means to express avoidance of personal issues). Personal circumstances of emotional stress, hardships, family issues etc., are all very large contributors to extended work focus. As ironic as it may seem, many employers are the beneficiary of employees who do not really want to go home. Also, as these employees continue to avoid personal issues by engulfing themselves in their job beyond the expected efforts, they inadvertently begin to stand out above their peers.

Many times the work place is our safe haven. As we contribute extra involvement due to our attempts to hide from other areas, we are noticed and appreciated and feel as though we matter. Because we come in early, stay late and do more as a means to avoid facing our personal situation(s), we are viewed by the management as dedicated to our job. Many managers and supervisors have “earned” their position as a direct result of avoiding their life so-to-speak. Although the employer may suspect a personal issue is a contributing factor in an employees extended work efforts, this is typically an area that most employers will avoid addressing with their employees. As long as the individual is performing their assigned duties sufficiently, most employers do not insert themselves in the personal affairs of their staff. When an individual is contributing extra efforts, the typical employer is very happy and does not wish to ask too many questions.

Another scenario, and one in which I have involved myself with personally for much of my adult life, is a self employed version of the same type of situation. I can tell you that a certain amount of self employed people who have created solid companies have done so because they too did not wish to face other issues and areas of their life. All this person does it seems is work. They are building an identity for themselves that removes them from the availability and time to focus on the area(s) of emotional trouble. This individual is hardly known outside of the parameters of their profession. This self induced professional distraction has been a contributing factor in the creation of major companies and has even helped change the course of human events. Within a diagram such as this, we can find somewhat of a confusing and conflicting result. I truly believe that many in our past who have contributed great things to the world have done so because of a direct imbalance they lived with emotionally.

However, we must be careful when judging and comparing any outcome with the presumed reasons of how and why. It is not for anyone else to determine or judge another’s path. Also, I do not wish to suggest that any of those past achievements were accidents. Contrary, I do not believe in accidents as a whole. It is my belief that our current comprehension of eccentric and out of balance behavior by many of those who present extremely advanced thought processes is naïve and incomplete. Although abnormal, the qualities of these oddities do not suggest they are accidental in my opinion. The label of “accident” is nothing more than the human beings way of assigning a reason to things well beyond the current understanding.

Although many do not initially and directly intend to achieve the level of accomplishment they do, it is important to realize that they took themselves on that journey for their own reasons; and it is often that these reasons are indeed not consciously known by the individual themselves. Within such an occasion, a deeply rooted emotion is determining their conscious actions. They have brought this life experience forward as a means of potential awareness and acceptance and thus the availability of change, should they “listen”.

There exists yet another form of imbalance in which the purpose is known and intentional. This is the group that is, “running to……….”

As briefly mentioned above, there are those who do wish to prioritize their work as the primary focus of their lives. They are driven toward an individual goal that engulfs their attention and as such produces a severe lack of balance within their complete surroundings. These people seem to not wish to distract themselves by engaging other activities. Again, their journey is their own and as such any exterior judgement will likely come via a lack of understanding.  Often times we give these folks various labels such as, “it’s their purpose in life”,      or      ” it’s what they were meant to do”.

In a circumstance that produces an extreme, seemingly out of balance pursuit toward a specific goal or set of goals, it is the underlying emotional force that actually determines the felt degree of happiness.

 Simply put, when the individual motive, whether conscious or subconscious, is genuinely toward something rather than away from something, the experienced degree of happiness will be much more complete.

It is by far more beneficial and positive to move toward instead of run from…….

To “move toward” intentionally represents personal control.

To “run from” represents fear and a lack of personal control.

I believe there are those unique circumstances that can provide for a truly happy sense of accomplishment while also engaging an extreme pursuit. I do not believe this is a common occurrence but rather an exception to the rule. The key to understanding the reason(s) behind why we may be involved in an unbalanced pursuit will be found within the willingness to expose a personal truth. We must sincerely ask ourselves what the true purpose of our intentions are. This is a difficult question for most people. Should we reveal a hidden truth, we face the task of accepting it as real and dealing with it, and as such we have eliminated the convenient avoidance that came with our previous lack of awareness. It is also my belief that an overall balance is many more times a complete asset toward a happy and fulfilled life experience in general.

For several decades I have been a self employed business owner. As I reflect on the ridiculous quantity of hours I put into my endeavors during most of those years, it is quite exhausting to realize. For a very long time I avoided my real truth of why I did so. With all honesty I can say that the vast majority of my efforts were motivated by a deeply rooted and extremely emotional avoidance of facing issues brought from a childhood of trauma. For me, it was not my immediate situation that I did not want to go home to, but rather a foundation of family structure based in turmoil that had me so troubled. I simply did not know how to be happy in a “home” setting, so instead I kept myself in a work setting. I was absolutely part of the “running from…….” crowd.

While it is true that many people actually love their work and find a complete satisfaction within it’s pursuit, it is also true that many among us have and currently are totally engulfing themselves in their job in an attempt to not be somewhere else.

Many times the avoided “somewhere else” is buried within.

to be continued………

Silent Bond

The dynamics of family is something that can be very illusive. As I consider the typical family consisting of grandparents, parents, children and grandchildren, I am very aware of the seemingly countless different arrangements which create how our individual family culture develops. To really grasp the diversity and quantity of all the ingredients involved with creating our own family experiences at any given point in time, we must be willing to accept anything we might uncover. This willingness is what can be avoided to great extent. For many of us, this represents a vault of emotions that we have locked away from our chosen daily travels. Many among us have self imposed barriers that have been installed as a means of avoidance. These personal barriers may or may not originate from our individual creation. In fact, I suggest that the majority of our most personal and emotional avoidances are the result of an evolving family trait.

It is my firm belief that our earliest years have effects on us that are not only long lasting but can even show increased impact as we mature. I would like to focus on the area of spoken or routinely expressed feelings (or lack there of) toward those in our immediate family. In this discussion I will reveal my personal situation as an example for one main reason; I believe I represent a large group of people currently. I am part of the baby boom generation. The significance of this is that my generations parents were the young adults of World War II and also in many cases, my generations grandparents were immigrants from other countries. If you consider the amount of change and uncertainty that was experienced within just these 3 generations and then try to imagine the impact this had on those of us within this group either directly or indirectly, you will likely realize an expected frequent family foundation that was many times in disarray.

In the earliest part of the 20th century, the male was the dominant decision maker within the family structure, therefore I will use my fathers dad as my starting point. My grandfather along with his wife (my grandmother) were both Swiss immigrants in the early 1920’s. As the story goes, my grandmother was not in agreement with leaving Switzerland but as mentioned, the man was in charge and as such he had decided that they were coming to the U.S., and specifically northern California. I am sure the objective was the typical search for “the grass is greener over there”. He got a job with a local dairy and soon bought a piece of land of their own. Then they began their own small dairy which meant extremely long working hours. Their first child (my aunt Mary) died of Pneumonia as a very young adult. My Dad was born next in 1926 and was the first boy, which made the pressure on him to help in the fields and with the cows very demanding.

With only this initial description we can begin to realize a family foundation that was being built on hardship.

My grandmother never wanted to leave her family and homeland. Against her desires, they do leave and her first child then dies at just 20 years old. Starting from scratch and doing so during the late 1920’s the working conditions were extremely difficult as was the case for so many in that time period.

As the next decade progressed, my dad became the oldest living child and he received two more sisters and a brother. This was now during the 1930’s which brought the crash of the stock market that quickly led to the great depression. All this meant to their family was that things went from very hard to critically hard. They all had to work long hours every day on the ranch just to keep it going and so they could eat (literally). The only exception to work was school (and yes, my dad literally had to walk to and from school which was approximately 4 miles one way). These conditions, along with the level of daily hardship did not produce a loving environment to say the least. Although they were forced to work together for basic survival, there existed a home filled with resentment. I believe it is fair to assume that the strongest felt resentment came from my grandmother. And even though the male was the dominant decision maker, it was the female (mom) who set the tone for the attitude of the home.

My grandparents and as such my dad, were strict Catholics. The structure presented within the practice of this religion in those days was without compromise. There was no room for debate. In my opinion, this added to the rigidity and stress that was a daily reality within my dads world as a boy. Without any means of confirmation, I would absolutely bet that my father was shown very little affection as a child. Likewise, I do not expect he ever heard words of love and encouragement. At 17 years old he finished high school early and joined the army. Sent to the Philippine’s in the middle of WW II he experienced a different type of fear for survival. Upon his completion of his time with the army he soon married my mother who was 17 years old at the time. My mom came from a poor family of farm workers. As the oldest of the children it was her responsibility to play a major role in the care of her siblings so her mother could work in the fields more.

My father was a thin, strong and very stubborn man as you might expect. He was an extreme “coholic”.           He was a work-coholic, a volunteer-coholic and unfortunately also an alcoholic. What all this produced was a father who was working all the time at a full time job and also within a moderately sized cattle operation of his own creation. He was very active within several community organizations simultaneously and continuously. To help mask all his own deep rooted issues that followed him into adulthood, he drank. His physically demanding schedule was not enough to allow him to hide from his past so he added the chemical of booze. This consumption increased as the years passed and the effects were also increasingly negative. He became nothing short of violently mean when under the influence (which was nearly every day).

My sister was born in 1950, I came along in 1959 and my brother who is the youngest was born in 1963. My parents stayed together until I graduated High School and quickly left home. As I was departing, my brother immediately went to live with our Aunt and Uncle. Our parents then divorced.

Now consider this……

If I stopped at this point and said nothing more about my experiences as a child, what would your assumptions be toward my mental and emotional condition as I became an adult? How would you think I eventually handled the responsibility of fatherhood myself?  I will tell you that my sister, brother and I have raised our own families and have many kids between us. Given our early foundation, what outcome of parenting experiences would you expect that we each have had? Although I did not live in the same house as my siblings while our families were young, which means I cannot personally attest to their parenting practices, it appears as if they both have good relationships with their adult kids currently. Likewise, I do not know of any excessive abuse in their homes such as was the case in our childhood home. Speaking for myself, I can absolutely say with a huge sense of accomplishment that I did not repeat any of the actions as a father that were so damaging to experience as a child.

I do, however, have several dominating traits that have followed me into adulthood. The occurrence of verbal affection was not something I revealed often. I never once said anything of the sort to my dad. I only remember telling my mom I loved her one time and that was after she was diagnosed with cancer and was very scared. I have never said any directly affectionate words to my sister or brother, nor have they to me. Yet I will tell you with all confidence, we each would do anything we could to help the other who may find themselves in a serious need. Finally, I will say that my verbally affectionate deliveries toward my children have been very rare over the years. It is possible that there may be one or more of my children, which includes my two step daughters whom I raised and cared for as my own, that may have not ever heard me say “I love you” directly to them.

All of my parents and grandparents have passed on many years ago. My sister and brother live less than an hours drive from me as I write this. We speak to each other rarely. This is not due to any negative toward each other but rather because we were not shown how to be close verbally.

A “normal” was created for us in our early years that generated a lack of verbal affection. Our earliest “normal” was to never express affection out loud.                  

Of my 3 natural kids and my 4 step kids, I am very close with my youngest. He is my only natural son and is now 26 years old. I speak to one of my daughters occasionally who is currently 34 years old and do not have any real communication with any of my other children or step children. In fact, my youngest daughter, who is 28, does not wish to communicate with me. From her perspective, I understand her reasoning. She received little of my attention as a child and did not experience the father figure she desired. Although there is much more to my story concerning the family dynamic that I have experienced as an adult, this represents a basic fundamental description of my foundation.

I offer this brief insight to my story as a way to acknowledge those of you who share similar experiences. I believe it is very important that we all realize that a lack of verbal expression bares no resemblance of our true feelings toward others. Many of you reading this have those around you whom you love tremendously but do not find the words easy to express. I believe I understand this psychological  phenomenon very well and as such my goal is to help you and potentially those around you realize that your words (or lack there of) do not always indicate your internal feelings. If you struggle in this area, it can be your actions that may help to bridge the gap of known feelings with those you care for. If you are sincere in your concern to be understood by those with whom you have a hard time verbally expressing yourself to, step back and take a moment to openly analyze your roots. This is where your foundation was built and thus the structure of your adulthood began there.

You will always find connections from your early years to your adulthood regardless of how old you become.

A final thought…….. I wish to be clear that I do not offer this diagram as a means of excuse or escape. The perspective of everyone is unique and as such those close to you may indeed place a large priority on the verbal aspect of affection. Communication is the key to understanding. You would do yourself and those close to you a very good service should you find a way to communicate your position. I do however, offer this generational explanation as a way for some of you to reduce your own judgement of harshness toward yourself and realize the enormous effects that our childhood experiences have on us. This has been (and in some ways still is) my personal lesson of growth. Expression can be delivered in many ways. I have found the written word to be my biggest asset. Should you wish, it is likely that you can discover a form of expression that suits you. Also, I will remind us all that the content of the spoken word is a very small portion of the total message delivered.

Given only the choice of words or actions, it would seem obvious which is better. I seemed to have lost the words for most of my life. My actions were the best I knew how to produce during any given point of my past. For those of you who are successful at both, I commend you.

 

 

 

Peripheral

What are the outer boundaries of our awareness?

When referring to the human being and a level of conscious awareness, we will find varying degrees of accepted awareness. Each and every one of us has a self imposed limit of what we choose to accept as real. This personal limitation is completely based on how we each perceive our world. However, with this said, I believe all of us “sense” things beyond our direct view. Fear of judgement will many times be the deciding factor of ones comfort level with regard to revealing openly things that are felt without being directly seen.

It has been said, “we do not see what we look at directly“.

Personally, I find a certain amount of truth in this statement. Now lets consider a somewhat altered version of this statement.

“We can and do see things that we do not look at directly but rather through our peripheral”.

Have you ever felt like you were being watched yet you did not see anyone else around? Have you ever seen something out of the corner of your eye only to not find it again? Have you caught movement to one side of you and when you quickly look that direction there is nothing there? Have you “seen” reflections that were very real to you yet upon your search you cannot find what caused them? How many of these occurrences did you discount as “your imagination”? Contrary, how many of these instances are you completely convinced were real but you have no means of tangible proof to support that feeling?

Could it be that found within our indirect view is where we may indeed see beyond?           

Do you only accept as real what is tangibly viewed? I will answer this for most of the human race.      No.      Most of the population believes in a higher energy of some sort. Likewise, this higher belief is accepted without any personally direct tangible view (at least while in our physical state). It is within this premise that I suggest all of us have a semi-conscious awareness beyond our eyes. In fact for me, many of these awareness’s occupy a higher priority than does much of what I think I am seeing externally.

We all have our own “minds eye” so to speak. As I describe it to be, the mind represents the connection between our brain, which manages our physical world and the energy that encompasses everything beyond our capable comprehension. It is my belief that within this commonplace of our mind is where we can realize parts of what we cannot tangibly prove. To decide what you accept as real, you must first decide what your definition of “real” is. This is a personal affair and should not be qualified by seeking the confirmation and agreement of others. Although there will very likely be many who share your concepts of what is real and legitimate, you should remain sincere to yourself with regards to the personal acceptance of a reality that is truly felt within and that bares no means of tangible confirmation.

In this discussion I am focusing on those occurrences that have us truly believing we have “seen” something that only disappears when we try to find it again. I have had many such occasions. Although I cannot or will not say that I believe all were real, there were plenty that I simply know have merit. I find this phenomenon very fascinating and also quite ignored these days. As I said before, I suspect the overall fear of judgement from others prevents many among us from openly describing and accepting these experiences.

Should you be one who has experienced this type of occurrence and who is also very intrigued by the reasons and origins of this “visual awareness”, I encourage you to remain open and neutral in your personal agreement with accepted reality. Be consciously aware to only allow whatever shows itself freely and without your potential manipulation. Do not try and reproduce or create anything you may “want” to realize via a manufactured force. I do not believe we can dictate these happenings.        I do believe we can allow them.         I can tell you with all my sincerity that I am aware of the existence of our cohabitation with the energies beyond our ability to tangibly explain.

Mans (or woman’s) ability to explain has little to do with actual reality.  

The explanation which is derived through a human form of tangible proof only supports the perceived physical realities we each have.

So when you catch a glimpse of a figure standing there for only a fraction of time….. or you see a reflection of something unexplainable just briefly….. or when you absolutely feel a presence “right over there” but can’t confirm it with your constant visual focus, you must decide….. is this nothing more than a combination of physical ingredients creating this phenomenon?

Or……. could it really be……..?

 

Hidden Shackles

As many of you know, I tend to focus my writings on the areas of the human construction that lay beneath the surface. For all that is visible to the human consciousness, I believe there are tremendously larger parts of us that are beyond our physical view. In our tangible world full of attention grabbing issues we seem to spend very little time considering the deeper arenas of our makeup. Why is this? Could it be as simple as we can only grasp what is right in front of our noses at any given point in time? Perhaps it is that we do not really want to know what is at the core of our experiences? (Remember, as long as we are unaware we can’t be held responsible). Still another reasonable possibility is that we each have our own comfort zone of acceptance and to open up to a new potential is risky. What if we were to learn of a concept that led us to question our established structure? After all, we have so many conflicting stories about our existence, how do we begin to decide for ourselves which is correct?

The fact is that most people do not decide for themselves.

Instead, most believe that all of the general possibilities are already on the table and with this, the majority of us simply continue with a version of the concept we inherited. These days there are very few true pioneers who come to their own conclusions with regard to human originality and purpose. The advancing intelligence of science along with the millennia old religious diagrams do a very good job of placing people in a no-win situation. To completely feel secure with one of these directions of thought you almost assuredly need to greatly discount the other. There are exceptions to this rule of course, but I would challenge anyone to find a large quantity of people who believe that our existence is not primarily tied to one or the other.

Have we yet reached a point whereas the intellect of scientific examination is threatening the age old belief structures? Can both be correct to some degree? Do any of you ever consider yourself to be a believer in both arenas?

For the record, I will say that I am one of those rare few. I think it is naïve to restrain our allowable acceptance of possibilities in order to preserve an old restrictive belief structure. Likewise, I think it is ludicrous to suggest that all of everything we have identified thus far about our world and beyond “just happened”.  There is a sense of order and belonging between all that we realize. Physical life continues regardless of our individually proclaimed reasons of why. We will not ever be able to completely know why. A physical being does not have a capacity to completely understand and know all that is beyond our grasp. Science will continue to figure out it’s definition of some of the details (based on the accepted knowledge at any point in time). Also, the majority of the religious community will likely attempt to hold on to their individual platforms as long as they can.

It is only due to the created illusion of separateness that the human being is requiring itself to find a right and wrong answer.

This search is endless. There is not a “right and wrong”. There is only the search itself. What is happening though is a slow change in our approach toward each other. Many among us are indeed acting out in very damaging ways that could indicate a direction of turmoil will continue. Although this is the seen and felt reality currently, I truly feel changes toward improved positive human behavior are in transition. The invisible energies which currently bare minimal tangible recognitions are present now, yet do not reveal any significant manifestations which can be held up as physical proof of improving human experiences in general (yet). For those of us who feel things beyond what is tangibly explainable, the risk of ridicule is a potential that is unavoidable when we decide to expose our feelings. Never-the-less, these feelings are real and as such I do not wish to avoid these awareness’s in an attempt to escape judgement. My purpose is to help the overall human condition improve our experiences both personally and collectively. I realized some time ago that my audience would be the strong and intelligent open minded members of the human race. I have surpassed my time of casting myself into an established group mentality as a means to belong and be accepted. It is within this mindset of personal truth that I am suggesting a contemplation be engaged by all who are willing. This is my way of leading by example.

There is a certain level of personal security needed to place yourself outside of any predesignated peer group. It is definitely much easier on a day to day basis to simply conform and receive the approval of those in your immediate surroundings. However, these are the actions of a follower. Those who are convinced that a “higher power” would encompass the traits of human imperfections and would then require human fear as a means to obey, have placed the flaws of people within their inherited definition of a god.  This type of structure represents an impossibility with regards to a “higher power”. Were this direction involved with any degree of actuality, the grandness of all that exists would not be. Intentional disregard of equality within any life’s importance is strictly a human choice and as such is an illusion of our own design as a means to justify our many established self imposed hierarchies. When one of our self created establishments believes it’s legitimacy is threatened, that group will very often act out and/or speak aggressively toward the perceived threat. This represents a reaction derived in fear that often reveals an extreme. When aggression is instituted from such a situation it can likely be attributed to a lack of confidence within the original protocol. All aggression that is delivered with an offensive display when the perceived threat is without physical advancement comes from a reaction of fear. These fears are many times our own illusions created within our internal lack of calm confidence. These extremes are becoming less tolerated with each generation and as such will not remain in tact in large quantity in future times.

What will reveal itself as the mechanism that will show drastically reduced acts of misconduct toward each other is not yet a widely practiced protocol. Should you automatically assume I am referring to force, you are not only mistaken but are also remaining in the past trap of status quo remedies which only produce a circular direction. A prevailing principle of the human makeup has been pushed into the shadows for quite some time but is now beginning to return to the commonplace of attention. This core principle will always stand the test of time………Freedom, Desire, Love, Care.          All of these words are synonymous.

Force of anything is only temporary and will not continue indefinitely.

Temporary force is an unfortunate reality in some circumstances as a means to stop widespread infliction of harm. In this regard, the short use of force acts as a defensive maneuver only. However, it is the means of slow and fearful force to ensure conformity that I refer to in my assessment of change within this writing. The use of selfish and/or outdated tactics that disregard the growth of human acceptance and equality are becoming the unwelcomed identification. The proponents and leaders of many of these institutions do not consciously realize their participation as one of continuing a fearful conformity. Their intentions may be sincere yet their continuing actions use fear as a tool. But now I truly believe that the stringent boundaries are weakening in many of the widespread belief structures of yesterday. The primary tool of fear that has been in place for millennia to ensure the conformity of large groups is being challenged and will continue to loose its value as time passes. The tomorrows of humanity will bring with it a movement of desired changes that will also push fearful force into the shadows of unwelcomed behavior. This instinctive trait is given to us via our intuitive knowing and as such is found within the individual heart. As more of the human population “Listens” to this felt desire to treat each other with increasing concern, this will manifest into reality and progress into the institutions.

As we have developed our many belief structures of segregation and competition, we have also shackled ourselves and thus drastically restricted our progress toward a common good. When one wears shackles only very small steps can be taken. Every one of us is aware of the misguided directions that many of our collective ways have produced. We should not ignore this as we have been doing for so long. Challenge a status quo that you feel in your heart does not belong in your future of promoting a common good. A community is only a common association of individuals. A nation is only a common association of communities. Finally, we realize that our world is really a single place.

It should be known that my intent is to speak from an all encompassing perspective and is not directed at any particular group or structure. Should any of you feel singled out or uncomfortable with anything said within this content, I suggest that the source of your discomfort will be found internally.

 

Passion vs. Fear

 

I recently became aware of a young man who has begun to read my articles. His name is Justin and it seems that he is involved in a career for reasons of “security” as the priority. He immediately struck me as a very sincere and open guy who is genuinely worried about his future career endeavors. As I briefly read through a few of his writings, I quickly found a scenario that I truly believe represents many people these days. In his descriptions, Justin focused on the passion (or lack there of) in the work place. He openly admitted to pursuing a college education which has led him to a type of work that leaves him struggling for motivation. In other words, he is bored with his professional endeavors as they currently are. In his particular case, we find a young man with only a few years invested in a career thus far and is now expressing some level of regret for taking the “safe” path. But what about those who have 15, 20, 25 or maybe even more years than that in a career that has them feeling trapped and lethargic? Sounds pretty sad doesn’t it? Before those of you in this category throw in the proverbial towel, I would like to address this wide spread issue from a psychological standpoint. I truly believe this phenomenon has captured a huge number of people these days. First of all, I will simply say that there is but a single reason for anyone to remain in a job that leaves you unmotivated……. FEAR.

At the opposing end of the perceived comfort scale we always find a fear of something. At the very heart of all our human concerns the principle of “control” is the sought after desire without exception.        Many career paths are decided and continued under the “assumption of achieved security”. If you feel secure, you believe you have control. The human structure has created a condition whereas our immediate physical control is our direct focus and our emotional satisfaction will simply have to wait. Within this concept, the condition of physical security is given precedence over our emotional security. The end result means that the paycheck has taken over the majority of the human mindset in the industrialized parts of our world.

As the world seems to get more complicated, the individual works even harder to achieve their version of personal control. This increase in the “me and I need to get mine” syndrome is at the root of human competition. As the perceived competition for physical control increases, the sense of concern for balance is pushed further down the priority ladder.

As I stated in one of thelistenbooks:   “Competition among the people is man kinds greatest blunder”.

Whether you are young like Justin or well advanced in your working years, the reason that most of you go to work every day is likely found in your physical needs and, if you are like most, your emotional feeling of motivation and passion has taken the back seat. As this illusion of prioritizing our physical security persists, it does not take long to become a robot by our own design. A sense of urgency to gain control of our physical well being right away (before we are left out) causes a rapid out-of-balance in our priorities. Then, as we look around at all the other robots who show us the overwhelming evidence of confirmation based on the similarity of their movements, we decide that this is just the way it is. With this decision of conformity, the accepted personal responsibility of ones own destiny is now obsolete. The “herd” mentality is given the responsibility of dictating a general direction. In essence, you have relieved yourself of being different from the masses. Whether the occurrence reveals a positive or negative result, there is great power in numbers…….

               It is the rare individual who stands away from the crowd.

When a pattern is established, we tend to accept this as “our normal”. (I will remind us all again that “normal” has little to do with “natural”). Once we each have our accepted normal path of direction, we then begin to subconsciously restrict the allowable flow of incoming potential new ideas. Without a conscious awareness of what we are actually doing, it is only a matter of time until we think we are without any feasible options. From a subconscious perspective, if we are unaware, we are not responsible. Within a short period of time this mental process will convince many people that they do not know what it is that would motivate them.

So to briefly summarize;       The initial fear of a lack of control toward physical well being caused a decision to pursue a “secure” path at the expense of a passionate choice, which soon caused a denial in the conscious acceptance of any available options.

At this point it becomes a confusing affair. Due to the subconscious blocking of new potential ideas, we can and do sincerely believe that we are without any real passions. Our willingness to succumb to the status quo of “safe and secure” (which is an illusion within itself) has hidden away from our view any ideas that would otherwise get us excited.  They are absolutely there, but as long as the fear of “being without” is dominate, those areas of personal excitement will likely stay hidden.

 It can seem extremely risky to step out of the available illusion of security in order to take a chance on being happy. 

It is for these reasons that it isn’t until later in life that many of us find our “Life’s work”. In general, it seems that we realize priority shifts as we age. Many of us walk similar paths with regards to spending many years in career(s) that leave us unfulfilled emotionally. For some of us, the discovery of our true calling only comes into view after we have earned all that income for all those years and are still not happy. I humbly admit to this myself. I have had those times of making millions (literally) and was not content with my accomplishments. I was a victim of working myself to ridiculous extremes only to come to a point when it all didn’t matter anymore. As I reflect, it is obvious I was not motivated by the income at all. I gave it away as fast as I earned it. I was hiding from life through my work.

My message applies to anyone who wishes to find out what truly would make you excited to pursue an endeavor. If, like Justin, you are in your younger years of a career, allow yourself the freedom to dream. Take on the personal responsibility of opening yourself up to new potentials. Your emotions should provide your direction. Your planned, rational thought should provide your process. If you find it scary to let your guard down and allow yourself to truly contemplate what type of endeavor would make you passionate, realize the fears revealed here are the reasons why you are reluctant. I will also suggest that part of your fear will be found in the possibility that you may just find what your looking for. Then you can’t hide behind the claim of unawareness any longer.

For those of you a little older, please accept that it is not decided by birthdays but instead it is your heart that will determine how you proceed. With reasonable consideration toward any physically demanding endeavors that may not be realistic at certain ages, it is precisely those of us with vast experiences that are in the position to know what we truly feel on the inside. I believe it is the responsibility of the advanced group to lead by example. Our examples should not consist of monetary accumulations but rather as an ongoing attitude of openly allowing new ideas to come into view. Stationary practices always become obsolete.

Maybe you didn’t yesterday, however, you will tomorrow if you decide today.

It is not your past actions that should have your focus but rather your current attitude toward tomorrows quests.       

 

 

Why?

Many times I have referred to the human being as a “herd creature”.  This reference is a simplistic way of saying that as humans we are naturally drawn toward an association with each other in an emotional sense. We do not wish to be without other human contact for long periods of time. Without any abnormal exceptions to this instinctive and intuitive trait in all of us, we are actually in “need” of each other in ways beyond the obvious of reproductive necessities or any other type of biological support. For those rare few who appear to be void of this trait, I will state that I believe that they are not actually devoid of this core part of the human construction at all but rather a victim of some form of unfortunate severe condition. Without the existence of an emotional and/or mental condition that creates a perceived alteration of this trait, I absolutely believe that all of us not only want but actually need some degree of routine contact with others.      This contact is naturally sought after without conscious effort.      Likewise, our desires to be near others comes in the form of care if there are only natural circumstances involved.

It is only within the confines of our human misconceptions and illusions that any separation or competitions are ever introduced.

Allow me to ask a question that will very likely cause a contemplation you have never considered before.           Why?          I am absolutely serious and sincere in my purpose of this extremely large and tremendously important question.         Why, do we “need” to be routinely associated with others in our species from an emotional perspective.

For those of you willing to engage this contemplation with a truly sincere attitude, I will suggest that to answer this question within the total capacity of it’s own completion, you will have discovered the main reason that we still exist as a thriving species on this planet. Also, I do not believe this answer will come easy and I am certain it should not be taken lightly.

Consider this… If you did not physically need others to provide your basic necessities of food, water, clothing, medicine etc., would you then not wish to have contact with others? Remove all of the basic support mechanisms that we provide to each other and really try to imagine how you would actually feel about contact with others if your physical life had absolutely no dependency on anyone else.

The point is obvious within my perspective.      We actually do “need” each other beyond the visible surface reasons of basic biological support. So if you also accept this premise as true, then again I will ask……why do we need contact with others on an emotional basis?     Remember, we have removed any and all of the obvious physical reasons. If you could live out your entire life secluded in an environment that was extremely comfortable, had everything you could ever need or want (physically) and you were always alone, how would this existence seem to you?

This contemplation is completely without any scientific answer.      Contained within the true answer we find the soul of human energy.      Found within this concept there exists no segregation of specific religions or races or nationalities.

It is within our current structure that there exists a creature which has evolved into a species that could destroy itself were it not for this “built-in need” to stop ourselves from being alone. We are the only species on this planet to have outgrown our own maturity within our physical capabilities and as such this protective creation of “needed association” comes with us and not from us. On our own, the human being is not yet advanced enough to realize our own illusions of separateness. As we grow toward a future of believing in a common oneness, we will indeed come closer to understanding the complete answer of,

we are actually connected with each other beyond the physical.

The physical existence is periodic and represents an illusion of separateness. The complete existence of pure energy beyond the human comprehension is continual and all inclusive. It is here where we live in a state of complete harmony as one.

My thoughts on “Truth”

How does your mind work? I’m not asking this in a broad sense, I’m asking you personally. How does your mind work? This question has no short simple answer. First of all, the general nature of this question provides little direction as to my intention of asking it. So far, with just the information you have, you could only move toward an answer based on your priority structure. Without additional influence from me, which would come via a more precise set of ingredients as additional details, you have only the description that your own thoughts would generate. Some of you would assume a scientific answer was my intent. Many of you will only consider the mind as a determination of intellect. Others would quickly go toward an emotional or spiritual answer. Some would require “proven” technical data as a foundation to answer how the (your) mind functions, while others of you would be intrigued by a belief regardless of any “scientific fact”. Well guess what?…. You’re all correct.         Actually, there are no wrong answers, there is only your answer. I will say this however; the mind is much more than just a singular ingredient of purpose. The mind is the common place of interactivity between the exterior world of all the recognizable through our physical senses and the immense energies that encompass the all of everything beyond a human comprehensible understanding. The mind connects the known with the unknown. Or, a more personal description might be, a connection of the heart and brain.

Consider these examples of belief or tangible proof?             I am going to assume that nearly all of you have at least heard of the concept of “witching” for water. This is when an individual uses a pair of stiff wires or a tree branch of their choice and basically walks along slowly until the object in their hands moves in a certain way. With the objects movement, the finding of water at some level is determined to be at that point below ground. To my knowledge there is not any accepted scientific explanation for this phenomenon. With only this information, how many of you accept this concept as fact?

What about the concept of psychic abilities? There are those who use various methods to realize or “see” things about others they do not personally know. In many cases this process is determined to have a certain level of futuristic awareness toward events and / or people. Again, to my knowledge there is not any accepted scientific explanation for this phenomenon. With only this information, how many of you accept this concept as fact?

Now I would like to introduce a specific word into the equation of, what determines something as fact?      Truth.      With this, I have another question for all of you…… Is there any such thing as truth?     Wow! I can feel many of you yelling your own list of proclaimed definite absolute answers to this last question. At this point some of you might think I’m playing some sort of word game, and, maybe I am in a sense, but my intent is very sincere. Now allow me to alter the “buzz word” (truth) in this discussion as a means to expand my message. What does the suggestion of “Perceived Truth” mean to you?      In actual reality, it is only this type of truth that is absolute in the human condition. We each have our own personally perceived truths that are completely based on our individual model of the world around us. Like fingerprints or DNA, no two people will have identical versions of a world model that they both perceive as complete and total truth. It is simply not possible from a mathematical perspective. Every second of each day we individually gather an on-going and unlimited array of data entries from our physical world and we each process all of this in our own unique way. This massive amount of information along with all of our individual emotional connections and processes that are beyond the world of physical view create our personal model of the world as we each decide it is to us. With this understanding, the definition of “perceived truth” is the only rational outcome to our search for what is real. It is my strong belief that the identification of what is “real” and what is perceived through “illusion” is extremely abstract to all of us.

It is very naïve to suggest that all human beings operate under a small and certain set of common ultimate truths. The two examples above, revealing water witching and psychic abilities are only a couple of very basic concepts that give us an idea of our many disagreements toward what represents truth. For those of you who insist that “Ultimate Truth” is only based on physically proven acceptance, you have only to examine the history of human beliefs to realize that the  “physically proven” concept is temporary and continually changing. Likewise, for those of you who insist that “Ultimate Truth” is only found within a particular belief structure of any religious diagram, you have only to examine the disagreement contained within the protocol of the many different versions. Within the confines of the human ability to comprehend, the awareness of ultimate truth is unavailable in our construction. This is necessary to achieve the “experiences” of a physical existence. It is only within our quests to proceed and learn and experience that we find motivation to remain in tact as a physical species. Should the human being ever actually know all that is, while in physical form, the product of a physical being would cease. In fact, I believe the irony speaks for itself in this regard.

        Within the human makeup, the only actual ultimate truth is indeed that the same is nonexistent.

     We all tend to throw around our use of the word “truth” quite a bit. What we are actually doing is applying our personal or group meanings in a figurative sense as we proclaim our version(s) of what is true in general. In reality, the only means in which we can use a literal sense of the word is when we are proclaiming a personally “perceived” truth. It is only in this regard that we each can insist what represents a truth. Beyond our own individual conscious awareness, all other versions of what is true are hearsay and speculation. To achieve a general cohesiveness within a group or society, an overall acceptance of a broad spectrum of “truths” are established and somewhat necessary. These types of guidelines do not represent any actual truths toward ultimate reality, but rather signify a common acceptance of a general direction within those boundaries. Again, when considering the cohesive needs of a common community, a list of reasonable and willingly accepted general truths are valuable.

However, when examining the real truth of the matter, the ultimate importance is found within your own presence of mind.