There exists a phenomenon that I have dealt with for a long time. To be “better” seems to come with a price. I remember my first personal experience with this realization. I was a young teenager of 14 years old. During my youth I was quite good at the game of baseball. My primary position was that of pitching although I would routinely play all of the infield positions also. The small town I lived in had a typical little league program that my father actually helped to create when I was 11. As I matured into a teen my abilities advanced also. During our regions all star game in which the best players from each town formed a team to compete with other all star teams from the neighboring towns, I found myself to be a member of our towns “senior division” which consisted of 13, 14 and 15 year old players. My dad was named as the manager of that team and I was one of the pitchers. It was assumed by many that I would be the starting pitcher due to an overall opinion that I was the best on the team. To be honest, I assumed this also. Game day came and I started at 2nd base. One of my classmates who was also my age started the pitching position. The other team had very little trouble hitting and scoring runs and as such he only lasted an inning or two. I believe it was during the 2nd inning when we were trailing by a significant score that my dad made the switch and inserted me as the pitcher. I will say as humbly as I can that I was very good that day. The other teams scoring abruptly stopped as they had a very hard time dealing with my pitches. By the end of the game we had come back to within one run but did end up losing the game. I remember the ridicule my dad received for not starting me in the first place. His defense was very open and honest; he was afraid of being accused of showing favoritism if he started his own son. I was better, but because my dad was the teams decision maker of that game I was held back due to a fear he had.
My next significant memory of this type of occurrence took place in my mid. 20’s. I was hired by a local grocery store chain of 5 or 6 stores as a clerk for a new location they were opening in a town close to me. By the time I interviewed, there only remained one position for the lowest level of clerk. As the first few weeks progressed, it seemed apparent that I was ahead of the pack, so to speak. The management was struggling to successfully organize all the product ordering, so I spoke up and gave my opinions on how to improve this. The assistant manager quickly assigned me the responsibility of ordering all the diary products (milk, cheeses, butters etc). Within a week, which consisted of only 3 orders, this area of the store was stable and stopped running out of product and also had a very low waste factor. Needless to say I was given this department permanently and other increased responsibilities as well. I had all the other clerks and a “head clerk” in front of me in position, yet I was actually taking care of more responsibilities. This became frustrating for me after a few months. I was performing well above the job description I had but was not receiving the associated benefit. I remember a conversation I had one day in the backroom of the store with the head clerk. His title made him 3rd in charge behind the store manager and assistant manager. He honestly said to me that I should have his job. According to him, I was better at leading people and getting things done in that type of environment. I had to agree. However, he happened to be the son-in-law of the original owner and as such…. well, you know. Next, was a clerk that was put in charge of the front end where all the checkers are. She had many years of experience in the grocery business and was personally hired by the manager with whom she had worked with in other stores for a long time. Before long she developed jealousy issues with me due to the routine attention the managers were giving to me. I was directly hired by the owners son who was moving into the position of taking over the company. He had told me specifically he wanted local people like me to work in this new location for recognizable reasons to the clientele. When I asked him if I would ever be transferred to another store, which were all located many more miles away from where I lived, he very assuredly said “no, you will stay in that store”. Time passed and soon the jealous clerk began to make derogatory remarks to the management about me. She was creating a situation in an attempt to knock me down in their eyes. Much to her dislike, when the son-in-law head clerk transferred to another location I was immediately put into that position. A few months later I heard the manager tell the owner that I was the best head clerk he had seen in 30 years of the grocery business. When the drama created by the older clerk escalated to a point of very difficult working conditions between us, the same owner who assured me of my permanent position in that location announced he was transferring me. His reason? I was very good and he needed me elsewhere. Again, I was better, yet it fell upon me to pay the price for being good. This was the last employee based job I had for the next 27 years as I soon quit to become fulltime self employed.
Since then I have had many occasions of similar experience. You would have a hard time believing some of the things I have been told by prospective clients as they verbally listed my qualifications and superior knowledge over my competition. I have been thanked repeatedly for educating them, taking the time to thoroughly explain and, believe it or not, for even being the lowest price on some occasions, only to have their next statement be: ” but I am going with someone else”. I have sat with people for many hours discussing and eventually drawing out their custom home they wished to build only to drive by their location a few months later and see “my house” being built by another contractor. Some occasions may have simply been a cost factor but many were not. More recently, I have engaged many prospective solar clients who have called me to provide an explanation and quote for their desired installation of that equipment. More than once, I have been thanked repeatedly for educating them well beyond what they had been told by anyone else and I have even been told that my price was very competitive if not actually the lowest. Some of these folks seem to feel a sense of responsibility to call me back and tell me that they have decided to “go with someone else”. It is as though they are trying to convince themselves while attempting to explain their reasons to me. I hear it in their voice. They are many times doubting their own decision.
So by now I’ll bet many of you have developed opinions as to why this happens to me. “I’m not selling myself well enough”. “I expect this result so it manifests itself”. “I don’t know how to close the deal”. Some of you may wonder if my attitude displays arrogance or a strong delivery or perhaps the opposite extreme of revealing a lack of confidence. All of these may be accurate within certain circumstances, (except the lack of confidence one) however, there are plenty of times when a decision made by a client along with their offered attempts at an explanation simply defies logic. As I consider whether or not I would change my approach in an attempt to gain more immediate favorable results, I must sincerely conclude that I cannot. What it all comes down to is being yourself. I simply cannot or will not pretend. I find myself in the educational role very frequently these days and , to be very honest, I feel like I belong there. While it is true that I have had more than my share of “paying the price for being better”, it is also true that my approach reflects complete sincerity. Regardless of how it may sound, I am very good at my chosen tasks and I will not turn in to a “salesman” in an attempt to gain a higher paycheck. Each of us makes our own choices as to how we carry ourselves within our professional environment. Your individual priority structure will always determine what your form of measurement is when judging your personal success in your career. Whether an employee or self employed, it really is up to each of you to decide what factors drive your motivations. I have offered a brief description of my travels in this regard not as a comparable toward any of your choices but rather as an example of realizing who you truly are and what motivates you to engage your quests. If you “Listen” to your deepest feelings on the subject, you will know how you should conduct yourself.
Consider this…………
If you were to eavesdrop on a conversation between several members of your professional environment, what would you hear?
"Listen" 